a day back i got sort of in trouble with a friend of mine, Mariah. she's an amazing girl, who shockingly thinks i'm pretty and is my friend. to be my friend i think is a great accomplishment. i'm not friendly, i'm a miser, i'm at many times annoying, i'm a sort of a clean freak and well i'm just not in all a great person. thus, when we fought i started to feel worthless. i mean if i could not keep this friend over a stupid mistake, am i not a horrible friend? a worthless friend?
and bad thoughts tend to lead to other bad thoughts which then brought me to cry. the heart wrenching kind. for me, the nicest kind. i get the feeling of relief after crying. maybe that is weird but i like what i like.
yesterday, i attended this annual seminar my society in the university has and well i managed to stay awake for two speakers! after not having slept the night! unfortunately though, when my academic advisor was giving her lecture, i went to wonderland. damn luck, it was like listening to a hypnosis guru. sleep came like a silent killer. anyway, it was real awesome especially the medical speaker. he was very and i mean very funny. i laughed hard and so did my friend beside me, the whole hall would agree that he was the most entertaining one of the day. okay may be not the whole.
i realize that what i said about being serious and having a fight did not finish so here's the continuing. yeah, i don't care if you're bothered by the way i write. just stop if it hurts. then come back after a panadol. anyway, she was playing a joke on me and i took it seriously thinking that she was mad. but after a silence of 30 minutes, she tells me it's a joke. i'm sure it's there somewhere on my facebook timeline. you may have opinions to which i am not willing to hear so please keep it to yourself. this was a thing between friends. who by the by are still friends.
i've for a long time not placed an entry so i might as well make this long then. my friend's cat, Kecoh, who loves me a tiny bit, got her leg broken. she now is said to have to limp her whole life. i'm just glad she seems not to find it hard or painful to live with. my mum's birthday is tomorrow! i hope i remember about it. ah shit, and now i remember about my homework. ugh, should start soon but am so lazy. also, made birthday cards for my friends who had and are going to age.
wat else ah....................................oh HAZE! YES FUDGE THIS HAZE PROBLEM IN MALAYSIA. i hear its getting worse here, my nose has not found it a problem maybe cause i like the smell of burnt wood. but my throat disagrees. i was fasting a few days back so i worry when my throat felt uncomfortable. but i bought some cough syrup so that helps. i take it almost everyday, as to kind of cleanse my respiratory system.
having classes while also having haze is horrible, it makes you want to just roll in bed and think 'I don't want to go. Haze so bad might as well just stay in bed'. But i did go so no worries on my studies yeah. thought of screwing up my eating habit cause i was gaining weight but now i'm still eating healthy so i don't think i'm disciplined enough with myself. haiya, what to do la. ramadan is coming soon and i have still about 7 days to pay back, yes, yes, i'm such a bad Muslim. i know and i'm still in progress so moving on. i've signed up for three clubs but out of all of them only one is a new choice. oh well, there goes my plan to be social. i can't help it to be social means to be poor. look at their membership fees. can feed me for many days oh! and well others that were cheap didn't interest me.
last input: i admit i am rather messed up, but not critically so. i contradict in my wants and actions but i don't think i mind that. cause i think i don't mind letting the beast in me be me. even if it means i become not nice or unusual. fin.
note: tutorial time. oh hey, tmrw maybe holiday!
