no way gone

mid term season is in, and assignments are hatchings? my mind is haunted by this fear that i'm not prepared for the up coming troubles. that and the fact that ramadhan is starting next week. i watched this video and supposedly i should celebrate this incredible month but truthfully i'm quite terrified. don't know how it is any different from the last years but there it is. 

having just gone through a discussion session with a close friend i'm lost on how i should view the world. openly? or conservatively? either way, i just hope that i'm not pressing her with stupid thoughts. which is highly likely a possible outcome to what i have done. ugh.... 

i've also recently been getting too many teasing remarks about an admirer. i've got issues with the opposite gender and let's just say i'm okay being cold towards them. of course this would affect my whole life and reputation but i can't help but see them as dangerous. anyway, the teasing is to the point where i am so annoyed i might be glaring at the admirer. and then there is the information given to my friend about secret pictures. hrmm... 

whatever lah. i leave it all to Allah S.W.T..

additionally, i just realised that for this whole trimester i would have to wake up early daily. personally i don't understand how morning people do it, i mean it sounds very miraculous for them to wake up early and not want to go back to bed. wish i had this super power. hahaha, of all things to ask. 

i'd like to conclude this entry with the fear of going back to kampung for raya. sure sometimes i enjoy it but overall i always silently dread it. kind of a love and hate thing? i don't know. i think people who are not as loving as me may understand the awkwardness and tiring situation that is present when meeting family.

note: i'm doom to spinsterhood and maybe loneliness.